Do you know the difference between a romance and a love story?
A romance is fun and formulaic. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy wins girl back. They live happily ever after.
A love story can go a lot deeper. Maybe the couple is already married. Maybe someone dies. Whether or not there is a happily-ever-after, lives are changed through commitment and self-sacrifice.
I’ve read both. I get something different from each. But what kills me is when there is no chemistry. Chemistry goes beyond the lust of romance and the heartache of love. It is when the two characters LIKE to be around each other.
Carl Reiner, writer for The Dick Van Dyke Show, once said, “Lust is easy. Love is hard. LIKE is most important.”
“Lust is easy. Love is hard. LIKE is most important.” Share on XThis is the fun stuff, you guys. This is when Corbin decides to TP Willow’s house because she told him he wasn’t allowed to in Falling for You by Becky Wade. This is when Adam rescues Essie from a snake and says, “I’m Adam, and if you’re name is Eve, then we’re in real heap of trouble,” in Courting Trouble by Deeanne Gist. In Steally Adda by Tamara Leigh, it’s when Adda’s editor tells her she had great insight into male characters, kisses her, then claims it won’t happen again, and she’s like, “My great insight into the male character tells me it will.”
These LIKE scenes are also my favorite scenes to live. When Jim kissed me before heading to work this morning, I reminded him, “Since I’m leaving for my ladies retreat today, you won’t see me until Monday, so you better add a dip to that kiss.” Right there in the kitchen, with my morning breath and bathrobe, Jim practiced the moves we’ve been learning in our country swing dance class. It was a good kiss, but what makes it memorable was that we were laughing so hard, I was in danger of being dropped.
These are the kinds of scenes that make writing fun for me too. Yeah, there’s physical attraction and there’s deep commitment, but when my heroine has been turning down the hero’s advances through a whole book then finally agrees to kiss him because she’s caught under the mistletoe, he’s gonna almost kiss her then stop and say, “Oh no. You’re not getting me that easy. I’ll pick you up at seven on New Year’s. Wear your sequin dress.” And she LIKES him all the more for it.
There was a a time when I stopped writing romance. I didn’t believe in it anymore. @AngelaRStrong Share on XThere was a a time when I stopped writing romance. I didn’t believe in it anymore. I thought it a fairytale. But I also took a divorce class at a local church, where the leader taught about healthy relationships. He often said, “Dating the right person should be the most fun you’ve ever had with your clothes on.”
Then I met Jim and found out how right he was. This is what I want for everyone. This is what I try to show in my stories. Not just lust that doesn’t last because it’s selfish in nature or love that lasts even if your spouse announces he hates you, but LIKE that makes the two of you foxhole buddies.
When I shared the quote above on facebook and asked for thoughts, author Tracey Bateman made me happy cry with her explanation. “It’s easy to stay with someone while the lust is the main thing. It’s difficult to stay and love when trouble comes, but if you really like someone (the way you and Jim do) you don’t need lust to stay attracted physically, the love doesn’t fade, and working through the issues is worth the effort.”
Oh, dear reader. Perhaps that’s the message I’m trying to tell with every story I write. While there’s a difference between a romance and a love story, the story that matters most is your own. Working through the issues is worth the effort.
It’s okay if you don’t have a happily-ever-after right now because your story isn’t over yet. Go make it one you’d LIKE to tell.
It’s okay if you don’t have a happily-ever-after right now because your story isn’t over yet. @AngelaRStrong Share on X
Angela Ruth Strong sold her first Christian romance novel in 2009 then quit writing romance when her husband left her. Ten years later, God has shown her the true meaning of love, and there’s nothing else she’d rather write about. Her books have since earned TOP PICK in Romantic Times, been optioned for film, won the Cascade Award, and been Amazon bestsellers. She also writes non-fiction for SpiritLed Woman. To help aspiring authors, she started IDAhope Writers where she lives in Idaho, and she teaches as an expert online at WRITE THAT BOOK. Visit her at angelaruthstrong.com. She’d love to hear from you.
NOW AVAILABLE:A Cuppa Trouble!
Can a couple of baristas chase down a car thief without spilling a drop of their favorite drink?
Plans for a Valentine’s Day grand opening of a small town coffee shop go awry when the first customer is killed. Evidence points toward the victim being mixed up in a car theft ring, but shop owners Tandy and Marissa have reason to believe he was framed. An assortment of suspects–from a pink-haired heir to Tandy’s charming ex–all seem to know a little too much about grand theft auto.
Without approval from either their boyfriends or the gum-chewing FBI agent in charge, the shop owners go on stakeouts, plan stings, and pursue justice in a high-speed car chase. If they don’t find the killer soon, it might be more than their love lives in trouble.
