Have you heard of Imposter’s Syndrome? Have you been stricken with this malady in your line of work, in your creative outlet, or maybe as a new parent?
Although you can probably deduce its meaning, Imposter Syndrome is when you feel incompetent and inferior about an aspect of your life, while also being certain everyone else is a pro and that they are going to see right through you at some point.
It’s a common affliction among writers and I have definitely had my struggles. It took a year after the release of my first book for me to reply “writer” when someone asked. To this day, I still don’t call myself an “author” (hey, it’s only been seven years!). As I anticipate the release of my fourth novel, The Secret of Stardust, I’m getting a wee bit more comfortable with both monikers, but that’s because I had help. From Jesus.
No really.
In the fall of 2019 I had an encounter that would change the way I thought about this little side hustle of mine. I was sitting inside my car while pumping gas at the Seven-Eleven when I noticed a cluster of homeless men chatting beside the building. One man wore a T-shirt that said “Ya’ll Need Jesus,” which made me chuckle. While answering some texts, I didn’t notice that he had approached my driver’s side window which was rolled down a few inches.
“How’re you doing?” he asked.
“Okay, thanks.” On my own in the big city, I didn’t want to encourage him and looked down at my phone.
“Great, great,” he said. “You know . . . I bet you’re a writer.”
Come again? I gave him a double-take. “What did you say?”
“I said, ‘I bet you’re a writer.’” He grinned.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
“Actually, I am! What made you say that?” I asked, trying to wrap my mind around the conversation. I was dressed for church. Sitting in a car. What about this extremely average scenario spells out writer?
The man shrugged and gave me a lopsided grin. “I don’t know. I guess you just look like a writer.”
“Um, okay.”
“Yeah,” he said with a little wave goodbye. “You keep on writing, you hear?”
Dumbstruck, I nodded and said I would.
I can think of a dozen more plausible guesses for a total stranger to make about my occupation. Teacher. Receptionist. Business woman. Mom. But somehow, this man—sporting a Jesus shirt, no less—nails it. Nails me. It was a miraculous moment that still gives me goosebumps!
Over the next couple of years, I would recall this incident repeatedly. This conversation happened just weeks before my mother would fall and end up in the hospital off and on for six months. And it happened a few months before the world shut down in an attempt to smother Covid—smothering us in the process.
During this dark and difficult period, I felt about as creative and inspired as a slug. Yet I had also just signed a contract for another book, and I had to plod ahead. It was hard. It felt impossible. And I often wanted to give up because I wasn’t a ‘real’ writer anyway . . . just an imposter.
But the Lord would remind me that He had sent a special messenger my way to tell me otherwise. It would give me the determination to press into Him and write a little more. The story that began as forced and flat eventually grew into an adventure I loved with characters who grew alongside me.
What about you? Are there areas where the Lord has gifted you, or directions in which He has pointed you, or doors He has opened for you to travel through? Are you nervous, fearful, or feeling inadequate for the task? Remember His promises, remind yourself of the many other times He hasn’t failed you. Trust Him. If you’re doubting Him, or doubting yourself—aka, feeling like an imposter—tell Him! And then expect the unexpected. The Lord is as unique as each situation we face, look for Him to meet you in those hard places.
“When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul” (Psalm 94:19 ESV).
Author Heather L.L. FitzGerald writes from her home in Texas, while dreaming of being back in the Pacific Northwest, where she grew up. When she’s not drinking copious amounts of coffee or planning her next escape, she’s taming dragons, teaching leprechauns manners, and judging animal tricks among her gnome friends. Many of these antics can be discovered in The Tethered World Chronicles, Heather’s award winning YA Fantasy trilogy.
Can a Nephilim prince outrun his past and manage to escape from a future he dreads? Prince Alexander is willing to try.
Prince Alexander may be heir to the Nephilim throne, but he’d rather blend into the crowd than stand out in his father’s court. When the king of Calamus dies, an alarming edict reveals a future for Alex that he refuses to accept. As the funeral dust settles, Alex and his ragtag group of friends flee to the hinterlands, gambling on unknown dangers over palace politics. For better or worse, Alex is determined to do things his way, for once.
Left behind and in the dark about Alex’s plans, his sister Ellynn prepares to receive an entourage from a distant Nephilim kingdom. She welcomes the distraction from her grandfather’s death and her brother’s disappearance. But their arrival awakens old hostilities and new suspicions. Soon, Ellynn’s compulsion to eavesdrop lands her in a web of threats and betrayal she might be too entangled to escape.
As Alex is pursued by monsters from without and within, Ellynn treads the line between secrecy and safety. Every revelation determines someone’s destiny. Kingdoms clash as Alex and Ellynn confront long-buried terrors in this latest adventure from the Tethered World.
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