A couple of years ago, I ran across a quote that caused me to pause and think, and then write a blog post I called “It’s a Journey.” This was the quote:
An unhealed person can find offense in pretty much anything someone does
A healed person understands that the actions of others has absolutely nothing to do with them
Each day you get to decide which one you will be.
I took issue with the last line: each day you get to decide which one you will be. My argument was that healing is not a switch that can be flipped on or off. Instead, emotional healing is a journey. Often a long one. I opted to change the last line to:
Today, chose to allow God to walk you down the road of healing.
I firmly believe that there is no true emotional healing outside of a relationship with our Creator. Each day we choose whether or not we will allow Him to walk us down the road of restoration, forgiveness, and wholeness. This leads to true, lasting healing.
I feel like this same concept applies to our country right now. Wounds that have festered beneath the surface of our society are exploding before our eyes. People are shouting for change to happen NOW—even if that change isn’t logical or hasn’t been fully evaluated to determine if it may have unforeseen negative consequences. In all of this, Christians are insulting and hurting each other over political and sociological issues. New wounds are being inflicted amidst growing division.
Offense, it seems, is at an all-time high. Is there something in our culture that curates the feeling of offense? Or are we a nation of wounded, unhealed people?
We can’t change our neighbor. What we can do is look into our own heart and see if we have allowed a root of bitterness to take hold. A root that has grown into offense and anger.
Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal.
Hebrews 12:14-16 NASB
Can we remember that if a person takes offense at something, it’s probably because they harbor an unhealed wound? Can we be the ones that understand the insulting actions of others has less to do with us and more to do with the condition of their heart? Or will we be quick to be offended ourselves, and reply in sarcasm, put downs and spite?
There are six things which the Lord hates,
Proverbs 6:16-19 NASB
Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that run rapidly to evil,
A false witness who utters lies,
And one who spreads strife among brothers.
Not taking offense doesn’t mean not standing for justice in the face of wrongdoing. It doesn’t mean agreeing with others who don’t follow the Word of God. But I believe it does mean not adding to the strife. We are called to be peacemakers.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 NASB
Like the man at the pool of Bethesda, Jesus us offering us His hand and asking, ““Do you want to be made well?” We need to decide if we are going to get up and claim that healing or remain the way we are. Can we, as a nation, join hands, look within our own hearts, and then look up and allow God to walk us down the road to forgiveness, compassion and healing?
Real, lasting change and healing won’t happen overnight. But it can happen. It’s our choice.
Melanie Campbell is a member of Oregon Christian Writers and ACFW. Her debut novel, One Woman Falling, is a finalist for the Selah Award and for the Oregon Christian Writers Cascade Award.
You can be the first to find out about the release of her next novel, One Way Home, by signing up for her newsletter at melaniejcampbell.com. You can also follow her on Facebook (meljeancampbell), Instagram (melaniecampbellauthor) and Twitter (MelanieJean_27).
Cassie Peterson lives in an invisible prison of fear, chained by self-doubt and guarded by a relentless warden—her husband. Derrick’s verbal abuse as well as his alcoholism have left Cassie alienated from her family, without friends, and certain she can’t survive on her own.
After an unexpected police visit, Cassie realizes the survival of her four-year-old daughter, Renee, depends on Cassie’s courage to leave. What she doesn’t plan on is Derrick’s vengeful custody fight.
While walking through the treacherous world of divorce, Cassie is encouraged by her spunky new friend, Missy Langdon, to pursue her love of waterfalls. Cassie finds solace in the waterfalls on the agonizing weekends she’s forced to hand Renee over to Derrick. Meanwhile, unexpected help comes in the form of Brian Sutton, an attorney at the firm where Cassie works—but what price will she ultimately pay for his assistance?
As Derrick’s threatening behavior escalates, Cassie questions her choices. How long will her daughter suffer before the custody case is resolved? Why is she drawn to waterfalls during this chaotic time? And who will stand with her when everything comes crashing down?
