I think if we’re honest with ourselves . . . we can be control freaks. Wanting to shape our destiny, our future, our children, our families.
No message hit me harder than right before I penned a book with my coauthor.
To keep names out of it, I had someone very close to me say something very awful to me. They knew it was a nerve-pinch. They knew that they couldn’t control my actions, so they tried to control my feelings.
It worked.
I’d launched into an awful depression. One where I stopped eating. Where I couldn’t get out of bed some days—apart from needing to go to theatre practice six times a week (never again).
But as this person attempted to control me, I learned something about myself. That I can be a lot like that. That I can want to try and micromanage every aspect of my life.
Having co authored several books with Alyssa, I saw where that control freak nature had seeped into my writing. I apologized to her for any times I attempted to dictate where our stories should go. We were a team, after all, and that meant collaborating.
Funnily, I believe the Lord saw me rescinding control. And he probably said something along the lines of, “You’re a team player now. So I’m going to allow you to be on the ultimate team.”
You see, a month after I’d spiraled into a depression, I’d met my fiance.
You see, the person who tried to hurt me a year ago had told me, “You are very difficult to love, and that means it’ll take a lot of convincing to get someone to marry you.”
Not those exact words, but that was their intent.
I hold no ill-will toward this person. I’ve grown and healed a lot in this past year.
But all to say that when I let go of control, God moved. And I pray that all people—including the person who wounded me—will let go of control too. So that they can see God move in amazing ways.
Hope Bolinger is an acquisitions editor and the author of almost 30 books. 1500 of her works have been seen in various publications, and are read by millions of readers each year. When she isn’t accidentally writing a book in a week, she likes to model, do theater, hike, and pet her two ridiculous cats. Find out more about her at hopebolinger.com
When explosive personalities collide, can a control-freak director and last-chance actress work together to win a film competition?
Ryan Torino loves the feeling of control, especially when it comes to his photography work and indie movies. And when he gets the opportunity to enter an indie film festival—rumored to have Hollywood bigwigs attending—he can’t afford for anything to be less than perfect, especially the casting of his leading role.
Enter Zinnia Preston, who has been trying to break into the acting scene since college. Now in her late twenties and working the not-job-of-her-dreams, Zinnia knows this indie film project may be her last chance to make it onto the screen.
Ryan is intimidated by Zinnia’s strong personality, but he can’t deny she’s the one for the job. Meanwhile, Zinnia wants to throttle Ryan for his perfectionistic tendencies, but she needs this gig. The tension between the two threatens to derail the project, and to both of their frustration, clashing visions aren’t the only reason sparks seem to fly every time they interact.
When an old nemesis arrives back in town, Zinnia and Ryan will need to set aside their differences and work together to have a chance at winning. If not, they can kiss that Hollywood riding-into-the-sunset ending goodbye.
