I never wanted to be a writer.
The written word was for people whose brains operated differently than mine. Much of college was dodging professors who assigned papers in favor of those who leaned on exams. Grad school was an exercise in getting papers finished as efficiently and quickly as possible. Being an analytical thinker made writing creatively a chore, a push into realms way outside my comfort zone.
But perhaps that was the point.
January 2015. I sat on the floor of my office, surrounded by half-packed boxes, trying to control the flow of tears. There are not adequate words to describe pastoral burnout. I was leaving a career I loved (and was good at), and it would have been kicking and screaming if I had the energy to even lift my head off the pillow in the morning. So I sat and wept trying to empty my library and vacate the senior pastor’s office at my church. Alone. Afraid.
Among the many questions I faced was what to do with my time. My wife was blessed with employment, so finding a new career was not urgent. I jokingly threw around an idea of a novel series with no intention of following through. It was then that a trusted friend told me that the only time he saw me smile was at the mention of the book idea.
I can’t do that. I’m not a writer.
Unemployed and without excuse, I sat in Panera Bread a month later, a blank cursor blinking its judgment at me. I had no idea the power writing would have in my recovery. As I healed from my wounds and learned to unpack the pain of what I had experienced, the characters of my story unintentionally embodied the flood of emotions pouring forth from my heart. Six months later, I had the first draft of my first novel.
The unspeakable joy of discovering something I was made to do found me in that Panera. At a time when I wondered if God was finished with me, I found a wellspring in the art of story.
I am convinced that the unfortunate reality of our humanity often requires that we come to the end of ourselves before we can truly uncover our divine design. Life experience creates internal self-assumptions and external expectations. Only when these are stripped away can we clearly see the foundation God has placed in each one of us.
Might I encourage you today to allow—no, welcome—the winnowing down of your soul when God sees fit to do so. Hardship or unmet dreams could very well be the springboard to discovering a path hidden behind the cover of our own presumption. Resisting the urge to fight against the pain unleashes us to remove the scales from our eyes and see ourselves as he sees us.
Preacher. Teacher. Leader. These roles fit me well and may still should God choose to place me in them again.
Writer? I never wanted to be a writer. But now I can’t imagine anything else.
Bradley Caffee discovered his love for storytelling during his twelve years of speaking and teaching as a pastor. He graduated at the top of his class in 2000 from the Moody Bible Institute before going on to complete his M.A. at Dallas Theological Seminary, ultimately pastoring churches in Green Bay, Wisconsin, and Orlando, Florida. When vocational ministry ended in pastoral burnout, writing became a critical outlet for Bradley during his recovery, which resulted in the birth of his debut novel series.
Bradley and his wife of 20 years now own and run multiple small businesses, including Alexander Homestead Weddings, a top-ranked wedding venue which ranks in the top 2% nationally on The Knot.com and was recently featured on Season 9 of Lifetime’s Married at First Sight.
When not managing his business, he enjoys losing himself in reading and writing fiction, especially YA dystopian, where he enjoys showing that hope can invade darkness. He is a stock-holding fan of the Green Bay Packers, a regular at the local gym, a complete Star Wars geek, and an avid board game player. He, his wife, their two teenagers, and Zoey, the world’s most unmanly dog, live in North Carolina.
Win the Chase. Be the hero. Or die trying.
The chaos and anarchy following the Great Collapse nearly brought the world to its knees until the unchanging Law brought order and peace. Generations later, the twelve alliances of the World Coalition come together once a year to allow their best and brightest young people to compete in the Chase. The prize? A chance to pass exactly one new law.
The son of two former Chase runners, Willis Thomson is the top trainee in the Western Alliance. With the expectations of the world and his heritage driving him, he leads his elite Red Team as they prepare for his moment to become a coveted Law-changer.
Perryn Davis, the new leader of the Blue Team, struggles to survive as she competes as one of the designated losers. She knows that losing means genetic recoding, a process that cannot go on indefinitely, and longs to age out of the program before it kills her.
When a mysterious new racer with knowledge of the outside shows up at their orbiting training center, the natural order of the Western Alliance trainees is upended. In a world where too much knowledge is dangerous, Willis and Perryn find themselves in a race to save their lives and uncover the hidden underbelly of the peaceful World Coalition.
