Like so many other events occurring during 2020, this Mother’s Day is different than Mother’s Days of the past.
If, like me, you live in a state where most businesses are still shut down, there will be no Sunday morning church service. Likewise, there will be no Mother’s Day brunch at your favorite restaurant.
We’ve been kept in our homes and many of us are now homeschooling our children. For some, this may mean you’re no longer working. For others, it may mean trying to homeschool while you work from home or leaving your children to homeschool themselves while you go to work.
It’s a difficult time to be a mom. But we brush it off, because it’s for the greater good. We are reminded repeatedly by inspiriting posts that these are times to cherish with our children.
This is true and yet, at times, it seems impossible to look at this altered reality with such optimism. We miss church, coffee dates with friends, date nights with our husbands. Now we spend our free time scouring the few stores that are open for non-electronic forms of entertainment like sidewalk chalk and puzzles. We try to find ways to keep our kids lives as normal as possible while playgrounds are wrapped in caution tape.
This virus can’t stop us. We can’t fall apart because our families need us during a crisis.
Except we do fall apart.
I had a fall apart day earlier this week.
I had been navigating this new reality not with ease but with grit, I thought. And yet all my efforts felt of no consequence because I had lost it that day.
As I lay on my bed with my broken heart and broken pride, I realized I had missed two things during this shutdown.
The first was allowing myself to grieve. Our family hasn’t been hit by the virus, at least not yet, and so I focused on how fortunate we were and deemed inconsequential all that we lost. Things like my college daughter’s track season and my 5th grader’s last days of elementary school.
Ignoring my bereavement of these things didn’t lessen the toll they took on me. If anything, it made them worse. Bringing our emotions to the light and letting ourselves feel them is what allows us to submit them to God and begin healing.
Another thing I had missed in my mission of perfection was taking time for myself. I love my family. But I also love time to myself when I can spend a few hours not attending to or worrying about what needs to be done or mediating a dispute.
My daughters and my husband hugged and consoled me during my meltdown. I am blessed to have a family that expects far less of me than I expect of myself. One of the most impactful things during my crying time, though, was what my mom said to me: “It’s okay not to be okay.”
And it’s those six words I want to share with you this Mother’s Day: It’s okay not to be okay.
If today isn’t perfect. It’s okay. If you aren’t perfect, it’s okay. We will never be perfect. Only God fits the bill of that definition. No, it’s not an excuse to stay in bed for days and eat Oreo cookies while watching Netflix. But it is freedom from the burden of shame. Encouragement to know that you are not defined by your bad days.
You are defined by the love of the One who created you—and that is more than enough.
“The question is not what we intended ourselves to be, but what He intended us to be when He made us.” – C.S. Lewis
Melanie Campbell is the author of One Woman Falling, a contemporary women’s fiction novel. She wrote her first story when she was eight-years-old and has been in love with the power of storytelling ever since. She is also passionate about social issues and holds a degree in Sociology from the University of Oregon, which she obtained during her stint as a single-mom. She’s now married and lives in Oregon’s beautiful Willamette Valley with her husband, their three children, and several spoiled pets.
When not writing, she does the bookkeeping and other office work for her husband’s painting business, obsesses over the well-being of their three daughters, and cooks healthy meals. In the spring, you may find her hitting the trails to one of Oregon’s magnificent waterfalls.
To learn more about her writing, sign up for her newsletter at https://melaniejcampbell.com/contact/
Cassie Peterson lives in an invisible prison of fear, chained by self-doubt and guarded by a relentless warden—her husband. Derrick’s verbal abuse as well as his alcoholism have left Cassie alienated from her family, without friends, and certain she can’t survive on her own.
After an unexpected police visit, Cassie realizes the survival of her four-year-old daughter, Renee, depends on Cassie’s courage to leave. What she doesn’t plan on is Derrick’s vengeful custody fight.
While walking through the treacherous world of divorce, Cassie is encouraged by her spunky new friend, Missy Langdon, to pursue her love of waterfalls. Cassie finds solace in the waterfalls on the agonizing weekends she’s forced to hand Renee over to Derrick. Meanwhile, unexpected help comes in the form of Brian Sutton, an attorney at the firm where Cassie works—but what price will she ultimately pay for his assistance?
As Derrick’s threatening behavior escalates, Cassie questions her choices. How long will her daughter suffer before the custody case is resolved? Why is she drawn to waterfalls during this chaotic time? And who will stand with her when everything comes crashing down?
WriteFitz
Melanie Campbell